Dreamstory, Chapter Two: "Your Honor, I Must Object!"

"We clearly proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that this alleged event never happened."

"When was this?"

"Just now, when I said it never happened."

"I'll allow it. I would like to hear what the young lady has to say. Go ahead, Miss Andrews."

"Your Honor, this -- young lady -- is a convicted felon and a Registerd Offender. She is delusional. She has a very, very long mental health history. Now we all understand that whatever -- Miss Andrews -- says in the privacy of her own therapist's office is disgusting. But she lies."

"Counselor, please. Now, Miss Andrews, you were saying?"

"On May 28,1968, at ap -- "

"Your Honor, again I must object. In addition to her mental health history and criminal offender record, Miss Andrews also has a history of habitual drug use dating back to 1974. How can we possibly believe anything she says? Let alone specific dates and times from fifty-six years ago?"

" . . . I looked it up . . . "

"What do you mean, you -- looked it up?"

"I -- "

" Now Miss 'Andrews,' if that is your real name: What is The Sinkhole?"

"W -- what?!"

"During the early 1980s, were you not employed at a number of, er, 'peep shows,' in Boston and San Francisco?"

" -- "

"So we can add to your list of accomplishments that of . . . *** worker?"

"It wasn't like that!"

"Oh? What was it like? Maybe you weren't doing it for the money. There's a different word for that."

" . . . you're either on one side or the other . . . "

"What do you mean by that? Enlighten us. And please, Miss Andrews, do speak up."

(Waving her hand in the air)

"There -- there's like a pane of glass. Or a video screen. On one side of it, there's a man. On the other side of it, there's a girl. Maybe an actual girl, or maybe a video girl. It doesn't really matter. You're either on one side of the screen, or the other. If I'd have been born a boy, I'd have been on one side of the screen. As it was, I was on the other side of the screen. Either way, I'd have been there. You're born into it . . . "

"Are you all right?"

"What do you care?"

"So you admit it, you're just a natural-born -- what?"

(Eyes blazing):

"I admit nothing!"

"Miss Andrews. Have you ever been married?"

"No."

"Have you ever had children?"

"No."

"Friends?"

"The people I rent from."

"Career?"

"I pretty much just went from job to job."

"One more question, Miss Andrews. Where do you currently reside?"

"We fixed up the garage into an apartment -- "

"You don't have to name the town. Just what state?"

"Ohio."

"Ohio?! So you're also a Nazi! A Nazi and a troglodyte!"

"What?! Your Honor, I -- "

"Quiet, you! Bailiff, get this -- person out of my sight. Miss Andrews, we will deal with you later."

Presently . . .

"Your Honor, I am so sorry. Now, we're both reasonable people -- "

"That's quite all right, Counselor. Now, obviously, if I had known this person was one of those people, I would have -- well, never mind."

"Wouldn't it be great if they could all just . . . go away?"

"Somebody should do something!"

(Laughter)

"My client will be so relieved."

"He's such a timid fellow."

"He's done very well. Very industrious."

"Multi-talented. Always has been. Very, very hard working."

"Well, the results speak for themselves."

"That sister of his, though."

"Oh, I know."

"Oh! Our drinks are here!"

(Pause)

"He was right, though. What he said. Nobody ever thought about how all this affected him."

"So?"

"So who is 'Nobody'? Who specifically never thought about that?"

"Well, that sister of his certainly never thought about that."

"Too busy."

(Contemptuous chuckling)

"Still, his family -- "

"Oh, for sure!"

"Another round?"

(Another pause)

"Still -- "

"What? What is it now?"

"Who else was there?"

"What are you even talking about?"

"Besides his sister and his wife? Who else was there to 'not think about' that?"

"I don't know! In-laws? What difference does it make?"

"Well, he couldn't reasonably expect that sister of his to think about that, could he? And his family's support was unconditional. Obviously."

"That goes without saying."

"A real family man."

"That's for sure."

"Well, I don't know. Maybe his in-laws were not supportive. Maybe that's what he meant."

"But that would not be possible."

"Say, where is he, anyway? Was he not supposed to be here by now?"

"I'm sure he's on his way. He's got so much going on these day. Awards -- "

"Oh, I know . . . "

"I'm just glad the truth came out."

"Don't be modest. You should be proud. We both should be."

"That deluded, lying little -- "

"In her dreams! She wanted it."

"Manipulative -- "

"All those therapists and counselors had her -- "

"Anyway, she probably brought it on herself. Probably loves the suffering. They all do."

"Oh, Daddy!"

(More laughter)

"Why are we even talking about this? Slts like her, btches exaggerate -- "

"And always with the scenes! Did you see?"

"How could I not? I was standing right there!"

"Completely out of her mind, right from the start."

"I could have you that. Saved us all a lot of time."

"But then we would not be enjoying these delicious cocktails."

"This is true."

"Well, in any case, it is time to forget the past and move on.”

"One more round?"

(Long pause)

"But, seriously -- "

(In unison): "OHIO?!"

(Howls of laughter)

"Are you even f*cking kidding me right now?"

"I know, right?"

"Look, I'm sorry, but that is just weird!"

"Actually, I'm not sorry!"

"Jawohl, mein Fuhrer!"

(More laughter)

Presently . . .

"Still, it's not like him to be late."

"Try his phone."

(Pause)

"That's weird."

"What?"

"It just went to voicemail."

"I am sure he is fine."

"Okay."

She woke up in a panic attack.