Pumpkin!
Alpha Prime stomped back into the Impero Intergalactica Grand Imperial Mothership Business Center. Her Five Confederates of Evil quickly straightened up in their chairs (in Baby Tarto’s case, in his crib). Lotar, King Of The Insect World, timidly held his Phone out to her in his spikes.
As Alpha Prime looked down at the Phone In her Hand, Bluetoothed as it was into the Intergalactic Slave Empire Grand Imperial Mothership Business Center’s Mechanical Television, she experienced a rush of pure horror.
All Five Confederates Of Evil were listening via the Mechanical Television’s speaker. Five disloyal sycophants hung on her every word and gesture with jealousy and bad intent.
Like a Bird freed from her cage, she Prayed silently as she picked up the receiver.
Alpha PRIME
(please don't embarrass me.)
(please don't embarrass me.)
(please don't embarrass me.)
LIL BOOCHIE:
Pumpkin! How's Daddy's Pretty Princess?
Next: “Velandia Will Be Mine!”
It Never Happened (A Memoir In Meme Form)
= CHAPTER ONE: "TEN YEARS AGO THIS VERY DAY"
"It was pretty much exactly ten years ago this very day -- "
“ . . . It never happened."
"Yes, it did. That was the day that my brother met me for lunch at a casual dining seafood restaurant in Wareham, Massachusetts."
"You are deluded."
"The reason I remember it so well is that -- "
"You lie."
"He played one of his l favorite funny, funny jokes on me. Which was to arrange a meeting and then totally stand me up. Which was super super funny. And then he would completely deny it. The first time he ever did this was in 1979. In Harvard Square."
"You fantasize."
"And I believe that this lunch we had together was the first initial swirl, in what was to be my final -- I was circling the drain. For the last time. I was a horrible person! I was the worst type of person a person could be. Also, I was completely out of my mind. My whole entire life up to this point had been just ...
It Never Happened (A Memoir In Meme Form)
= CHAPTER ONE: "TEN YEARS AGO THIS VERY DAY"
"It was pretty much exactly ten years ago this very day -- "
“ . . . It never happened."
"Yes, it did. That was the day that my brother met me for lunch at a casual dining seafood restaurant in Wareham, Massachusetts."
"You are deluded."
"The reason I remember it so well is that -- "
"You lie."
"He played one of his l favorite funny, funny jokes on me. Which was to arrange a meeting and then totally stand me up. Which was super super funny. And then he would completely deny it. The first time he ever did this was in 1979. In Harvard Square."
"You fantasize."
"And I believe that this lunch we had together was the first initial swirl, in what was to be my final -- I was circling the drain. For the last time. I was a horrible person! I was the worst type of person a person could be. Also, I was completely out of my mind. My whole entire life up to this point had been just one long, endless series of psychotic breaks, one after the other, for f -- "
"You are ...
So It Was Pretty Much Exactly Ten Years Ago This Very Day: A Short Story
“ . . . It never happened."
"Yes, it did. That was the day that my sister met me for lunch at a casual dining seafood restaurant in Wareham, Massachusetts."
"You are deluded."
"The reason I remember it so well is that -- "
"You lie."
"She played one of her l favorite funny tricks on me. Which was to arrange a meeting and then totally stand me up. Which was super super funny. And the she would completely deny it. The first time she ever did this was in 1979. In Harvard Square."
"You fantasize."
"And I believe that this lunch we had together was the first initial swirl, in what was to be my final -- I was circling the drain. For the last time. I was a horrible person! I was the worst type of person a person could be. Also, I was completely out of my mind. My whole entire life up to this point had been just one long, endless series of psychotic breaks, one after the other, for f -- "
"You are manipulative. What is it you really want?"
"And ...
