"This is getting tedious."
"Tell me about it."
Presently . . .
"Anyway . . . "
"Yah . . . "
"A gift-wrapped copy of Penthouse magazine."
"My mother was not happy when family friends gave this to her husband as a birthday gift."
"In what way?"
"She walked out."
"Out of the party?"
"Yes."
"Where did she go?"
"She and her son walked down to the harbor to watch the fireworks. As they walked, her son said to her: I don't watch pornography. I don't even have a pornograph."
"Which . . . "
"Which is a totally normal thing to say."
"In a totally normal situation."
"Yes. She then said, Yes, that's old hat to you."
"Meaning . . . "
"Meaning nothing. It was just a random comment, that just happened to come up all by itself during the course of a totally normal conversation. For no reason. No reason at all."
"Good. Then what happened?"
"Nothing. Just normal stuff."
"It never happened. You're deluded. You lie."
"Yes. And in any case, it's time to forget the past and move on."
It Never Happened (A Memoir In Meme Form)
= CHAPTER ONE: "TEN YEARS AGO THIS VERY DAY"
"It was pretty much exactly ten years ago this very day -- "
“ . . . It never happened."
"Yes, it did. That was the day that my brother met me for lunch at a casual dining seafood restaurant in Wareham, Massachusetts."
"You are deluded."
"The reason I remember it so well is that -- "
"You lie."
"He played one of his l favorite funny, funny jokes on me. Which was to arrange a meeting and then totally stand me up. Which was super super funny. And then he would completely deny it. The first time he ever did this was in 1979. In Harvard Square."
"You fantasize."
"And I believe that this lunch we had together was the first initial swirl, in what was to be my final -- I was circling the drain. For the last time. I was a horrible person! I was the worst type of person a person could be. Also, I was completely out of my mind. My whole entire life up to this point had been just ...
It Never Happened (A Memoir In Meme Form)
= CHAPTER ONE: "TEN YEARS AGO THIS VERY DAY"
"It was pretty much exactly ten years ago this very day -- "
“ . . . It never happened."
"Yes, it did. That was the day that my brother met me for lunch at a casual dining seafood restaurant in Wareham, Massachusetts."
"You are deluded."
"The reason I remember it so well is that -- "
"You lie."
"He played one of his l favorite funny, funny jokes on me. Which was to arrange a meeting and then totally stand me up. Which was super super funny. And then he would completely deny it. The first time he ever did this was in 1979. In Harvard Square."
"You fantasize."
"And I believe that this lunch we had together was the first initial swirl, in what was to be my final -- I was circling the drain. For the last time. I was a horrible person! I was the worst type of person a person could be. Also, I was completely out of my mind. My whole entire life up to this point had been just one long, endless series of psychotic breaks, one after the other, for f -- "
"You are ...
So It Was Pretty Much Exactly Ten Years Ago This Very Day: A Short Story
“ . . . It never happened."
"Yes, it did. That was the day that my sister met me for lunch at a casual dining seafood restaurant in Wareham, Massachusetts."
"You are deluded."
"The reason I remember it so well is that -- "
"You lie."
"She played one of her l favorite funny tricks on me. Which was to arrange a meeting and then totally stand me up. Which was super super funny. And the she would completely deny it. The first time she ever did this was in 1979. In Harvard Square."
"You fantasize."
"And I believe that this lunch we had together was the first initial swirl, in what was to be my final -- I was circling the drain. For the last time. I was a horrible person! I was the worst type of person a person could be. Also, I was completely out of my mind. My whole entire life up to this point had been just one long, endless series of psychotic breaks, one after the other, for f -- "
"You are manipulative. What is it you really want?"
"And ...
