Cockroaches
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I had a terrible time trying to decide what to talk about. I found myself sitting on the back porch after school with my battered red notebook and a glass of cherry Koolade. I got up to refill my glass and get a Twinkie or something. Little did I know I was about to be enlightened. I passed the porch door and saw something moving. I looked down. Chic, chic, chic, chic. I turned toward the sound. Waving his little feelers at me was a cockroach. It disappeared under some rocks. Chic, chic, chic, chic. Suddenly it came to me. After all, it is we who will inherit the world's problems and be called upon to find solutions, right? You know that biblical saying: The meek shall inherit the earth? After vast research I have concluded that saying did not refer to meek people. It referred to the cockroach. One need only study the evidence. The little cockroach is as meek as you can get. It is unassuming, the humblest creature around. No one's ever been bitten by a cockroach. It just sits under the sink and waits. Another reason the cockroach will inherit the earth is its amazing adaptability. Man is more adaptable? Where you find man, you invariably find the cockroach. On the second moon mission one of the astronauts radioed back that they had found a cockroach in the capsule. That cockroach was not found coming back. We can only conclude the moon is no longer uninhabited. Another attribute is hardiness. Every time they come out with a new roach poison, the cockroach develops an immunity to it. They are creating a cockroach that is immune to everything. I am not lying. Dow Chemical can produce a super roach powder. It will succeed only in producing a super cockroach. The most important thing the cockroach has going for him is his astounding powers to multiply. If you put one cockroach in a room, 20 minutes later you're knee deep in them. The cockroach is also infesting the media. There are more and more short stories about them. There are plans in Hollywood to make a full length movie starring a cockroach. To me personally, the cockroach does not pose a threat. On the contrary, he gives me faith. It gives me faith to see every spring a generation of cockroaches rising out of the ashes of the preceding generation. I put down my notebook and looked down. Chic, chic, chic, chic. My friend reappeared, waving his little feelers. He knew... And so today I salute the Spring generation, the 1974 generation of cockroaches who are carrying the cockroach torch high and who will ultimately march off into the future with pride and elan. And fellow graduates, if you can't beat them, join them. It is time for us to crawl out from under the sinks in order to infest the world. I quote author Jean Shepherd: "To the cockroach, may they proliferate, and may they enjoy the fruits of our labours!''