đź“–NEW CHAPTER: Right About Then!
Chapter 25 - Right About Then!
One of those marmots, Musthug (to be precise), was pushing back The Littlest HugaBird's cuticles with a ProNails Cuticle Pusher (Or the ProNails Manicure Stick Wood, the Cuticles Cobalt Cuticle Pusher or the ProNails Cuticle Cleaner! - V.) when it happened.
What exactly “it” was, depended on your point of view. From the point of view of “Musthug the Marmot” (I know her! - V.), what happened was:
They had staked out a nice little space for themselves on Marmot Beach, not too far from the stage where their favorite band, Velveteen And The Safety Snaps, were banging out the opening chords of American musician Maggie Rogers’ alternative/indie song “Light On.”
At Motfest 2019, the annual surfside music festival the Marmots put on at The Bungalows, a Cabana For Sixteen Marmots cost $30,000, including:
Free Beer, specifically, MeadowBank Brewing “Nice Marmot” (of course)
VELVETEEN
An Imperial Dunkelweizen Beer (Whatever that is! Ha! - V.) with a powerful Banana aroma, followed by malty breadiness and hints of biscuit and toffee flavors!
SARAN
A powerful malt bomb with surreal hefeweizen yeast piquancy!
VELVETEEN
Yeah, Ok, Sar!
SARAN
OMG, what now?
VELVETEEN
“Surreal hefeweizen yeast piquancy?” What does that even mean?
SARAN
I don't know, Vel, it's just what we're supposed to say!
VELVETEEN
I don't even know how to pronounce half these words!
SARAN (Glares at VELVETEEN)
Moving along! . . . “Which pours a silky dark amber color with an off-white head!”
(VELVETEEN is about to crack a joke, but SARAN shoots her another dirty look).
Vel, don't you even --
VELVETEEN
“© 2014 Meadowlark Brewing, Inc., 117 S. Central Ave., Sidney, Montana, (406) 433-2337!” What, Saran, what? You were going to say something?
SARAN
No, No, everything’s fine!
VELVETEEN
Exactly! Plus, this Beer is way too dark for me! I don't like something I have to fight my way through! Can I not just get a normal Beer?
SARAN
Sure, how about a Bud?
VELVETEEN
Oh, come on! I think we can do a little better than that, can't we, Saran?
Next: “Light Catering”
It Never Happened (A Memoir In Meme Form)
= CHAPTER ONE: "TEN YEARS AGO THIS VERY DAY"
"It was pretty much exactly ten years ago this very day -- "
“ . . . It never happened."
"Yes, it did. That was the day that my brother met me for lunch at a casual dining seafood restaurant in Wareham, Massachusetts."
"You are deluded."
"The reason I remember it so well is that -- "
"You lie."
"He played one of his l favorite funny, funny jokes on me. Which was to arrange a meeting and then totally stand me up. Which was super super funny. And then he would completely deny it. The first time he ever did this was in 1979. In Harvard Square."
"You fantasize."
"And I believe that this lunch we had together was the first initial swirl, in what was to be my final -- I was circling the drain. For the last time. I was a horrible person! I was the worst type of person a person could be. Also, I was completely out of my mind. My whole entire life up to this point had been just ...
It Never Happened (A Memoir In Meme Form)
= CHAPTER ONE: "TEN YEARS AGO THIS VERY DAY"
"It was pretty much exactly ten years ago this very day -- "
“ . . . It never happened."
"Yes, it did. That was the day that my brother met me for lunch at a casual dining seafood restaurant in Wareham, Massachusetts."
"You are deluded."
"The reason I remember it so well is that -- "
"You lie."
"He played one of his l favorite funny, funny jokes on me. Which was to arrange a meeting and then totally stand me up. Which was super super funny. And then he would completely deny it. The first time he ever did this was in 1979. In Harvard Square."
"You fantasize."
"And I believe that this lunch we had together was the first initial swirl, in what was to be my final -- I was circling the drain. For the last time. I was a horrible person! I was the worst type of person a person could be. Also, I was completely out of my mind. My whole entire life up to this point had been just one long, endless series of psychotic breaks, one after the other, for f -- "
"You are ...
So It Was Pretty Much Exactly Ten Years Ago This Very Day: A Short Story
“ . . . It never happened."
"Yes, it did. That was the day that my sister met me for lunch at a casual dining seafood restaurant in Wareham, Massachusetts."
"You are deluded."
"The reason I remember it so well is that -- "
"You lie."
"She played one of her l favorite funny tricks on me. Which was to arrange a meeting and then totally stand me up. Which was super super funny. And the she would completely deny it. The first time she ever did this was in 1979. In Harvard Square."
"You fantasize."
"And I believe that this lunch we had together was the first initial swirl, in what was to be my final -- I was circling the drain. For the last time. I was a horrible person! I was the worst type of person a person could be. Also, I was completely out of my mind. My whole entire life up to this point had been just one long, endless series of psychotic breaks, one after the other, for f -- "
"You are manipulative. What is it you really want?"
"And ...
